Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics

Leave it to those crazy bastards at Cracked to take ordinary, un-assuming rap lyrics and turn them queer. Splendid, gentlemen. We only hope that some of those rappers don't keep ninjas on retainer. We enjoy your comedic stylings and would hate to have to ruin your pristine computer monitors with blood, fire, shurikens, or other ninja paraphernalia/crazy elemental powers.

Some gems include:


Jay-Z feat. Memphis Bleek: "Coming of Age"
The Lyric:
Jay-Z: Hey fella, I been watchin' you clockin'

MB: Who me holding down this block it ain't nothing, you the man ninja, now stop frontin'.

Jay-Z: Ha ha! I like your style!

MB: Nah, I like YO style!

Jay-Z: Let's drive around awhile.

MB: Cool, ninja.

Jay-Z: Here's a thou!

What He's Probably Saying:

I like you, you should sell crack for me. Here's a sign-on bonus!

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

Hey fella, I've had my eye on you for awhile, I like how you look in those baggy jeans. Let's go park somewhere and have sex. I'll even pay you!

*Editorial Note: Since I am not black, all uses of the N-word have been replaced with our own N-word, "ninja". Avgar Ninja has no problem with people of different races or creeds and judges everyone equally using the Modified Scale of Ninja Awesomeness.