Ninja Infiltration

If there's one thing ninjas are obsessed with, it's getting into places other people don't want us to be. Killing is also very high on the list and may supersede infiltration as the primary motive at any given time. Fortunately for the modern ninja, there are some people who make a hobby of urban exploration and provide photographic evidence of their travels. Memorize these layouts my brethren, you never know when you might need to assassinate someone in an adandoned missle silo or on top of the Manhattan Bridge.





Ninja Respect to Undercity and Infiltration

GIS Image Project

We're not quite sure just what the GIS Image Project is but they've got a crapload of images.

Abbott and Costello - Who's On First?

Classic. Go St. Louis Wolves.




From their 1945 film "The Naughty Nineties"

Yahtzee's Take On The Console Wars

I'm assuming that if you check any of the more mainstream social news sites [especially Digg] then you already know who Yahtzee is and what he does. If you haven't heard his banter before, it's scathing, slightly immature, and ever so British. More of his videos can be found here.



Via The Escapist

Unintentionally Gay Rap Lyrics

Leave it to those crazy bastards at Cracked to take ordinary, un-assuming rap lyrics and turn them queer. Splendid, gentlemen. We only hope that some of those rappers don't keep ninjas on retainer. We enjoy your comedic stylings and would hate to have to ruin your pristine computer monitors with blood, fire, shurikens, or other ninja paraphernalia/crazy elemental powers.

Some gems include:


Jay-Z feat. Memphis Bleek: "Coming of Age"
The Lyric:
Jay-Z: Hey fella, I been watchin' you clockin'

MB: Who me holding down this block it ain't nothing, you the man ninja, now stop frontin'.

Jay-Z: Ha ha! I like your style!

MB: Nah, I like YO style!

Jay-Z: Let's drive around awhile.

MB: Cool, ninja.

Jay-Z: Here's a thou!

What He's Probably Saying:

I like you, you should sell crack for me. Here's a sign-on bonus!

What We Like To Think He's Saying:

Hey fella, I've had my eye on you for awhile, I like how you look in those baggy jeans. Let's go park somewhere and have sex. I'll even pay you!

*Editorial Note: Since I am not black, all uses of the N-word have been replaced with our own N-word, "ninja". Avgar Ninja has no problem with people of different races or creeds and judges everyone equally using the Modified Scale of Ninja Awesomeness.

Art. Lebedev Bar Code Art

Some devilishly talented people over at Art. Lebedev Studio are creating nice, high resolution bar-code themed images that make some of the best backgrounds I've seen in awhile. Check out their full lineup of posters here.

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What Really Goes Down At Indian Call Centers

God Bless IT Outsourcing.

Why Can't We Be Friends?

Have you ever thought how awesome it would be if the console war was over? Can you imagine the Utopia that would be rendered upon us if Microsoft, Sony, and Nintendo just worked together to make great products? We could have the high powered hardware of a PS3 with the fluidity of Xbox Live and unique/creative game experiences! Developers wouldn't have to spend forever coding for different releases and could focus on content and execution [two things regularly lacking in today's gaming society.] Here are pictures depicting how some gaming industry icons would look palin' around together.


Shigeru Miyamoto of Nintendo and Steve Ballmer of Microsoft.




Jack Tretton of Sony and J Allard of Microsoft

Via gamesradar

Consolers of the Lonely

Everyone knows Jack White is one bad ninja mofo. The Raconteurs first album, Broken Boy Soldiers, was solid listening. On their second album, Consolers of the Lonely, they make their case as one of the most original, technically proficient bands of the modern era. Have a listen to the title track below and let me know what you think.

Self Image

Incredibly amusing animation piece by Creature Comforts. Avgar Ninja would laugh at their words and then promptly eat them. Funny? Yes. Delicious? Totally.

Ernie Pintoff’s Flebus (1957)

This is a really great cartoon from the 1950's about a little guy named Flebus. [Think oldschool humanoid SpongeBob and add in some verbal deficiencies] Nonetheless, extremeley funny. Excellent representation of a shrink....maybe we're all just a little neurotic.


[Historical Note]
This cartoon was presented to the public in the same year that the Soviet Union launched Sputnik.

Batman bin Suparman

We can respect the sweetness of Batman and Superman separately. After all, we now know that Batman is totally a ninja. It's official. Welcome to the fold. Superman, not so ninja, but he could simultaneously do your taxes, fix all that busted stuff in your house and use his mind beams to destroy meteors from space while cooking a nice brunch. I'd say "hey Superman, you mow the lawn while you here? and he'd be like 'yeah, I'm Superman, I know how to work the mower.'"

But mixing the two? Superman's goody-two-shoe-edness just might outweight Batman's ninja awesomeness. The kid is from Singapore though so we'll concede he could be ninja. That smile definitely says, "I could take you out with some bamboo and then disappear in a puff of crazy purple knock-out gas."





Via Weird Asia News | Meatwad

What If Rick James Had Become The Incredible Hulk?

What did the five fingers............say to da face? HULK SMASH! UNITY!

Via Laughing Squid

F Yeah I'm Going To Mars.

Check out Google's April Fool's Joke. They forgot that we are ninja and therefore do not take trickery lightly. The Avgar Ninja will be going to Mars. And, just to smite the Google math nerds and their crazy billionaire/neo-pirate accomplices, we'll be going there much sooner than them. You could not even apply for our program [if said program was ever even made aware to you, which it would never be]. It is too late for you. If you would like to apply to Google's slow-ass peon Mars venture, you can do so here.
But be warned: you need not fear the crushing depth of space nor the mind-bending terror of Martian Man-Eaters. You need only fear Ninja.